Wednesday, July 26, 2006
It's that time of year again
The week of feeling emotionally craptastic. July 19-29th. Fuck. I'm not sure how after all this time, close to a decade, I'm still kicked in the gut by Rick's birthday thru my wedding anniversary.
Every year. Things will be going along just fine then all the sudden I get depressed and sure as shit, I look at the calendar and it's the end of July. I mean, JESUS, we weren't married long at all. This is the first year though, that I haven't gone out to the cemetery to drop off some flowers. I don't think that my marriage to Rick defines me, but I definitely think having gone thru everything shaped who I am now.
I'm sure it would be a different story if I was already remarried and had a family, but I'm not. I think this time of year just makes me reflective and I think about what could have been. I could have a kid or two by now in elementary school. I also could be a single mom raising those kids alone. And the life I have now, isn't shitty at all. I have a great job, great friends, I've been given great opportunities all of which wouldn't have happened if I wasn't on this path. I most definitely wouldn't be living in Minnesota.
For some reason this is my path. My past is what I have to work with. My future is bright ahead of me. I know that. I understand that. I still feel like shit. I know it will pass. I just wonder when I'll get thru a July with out this feeling.
FUCK.
Every year. Things will be going along just fine then all the sudden I get depressed and sure as shit, I look at the calendar and it's the end of July. I mean, JESUS, we weren't married long at all. This is the first year though, that I haven't gone out to the cemetery to drop off some flowers. I don't think that my marriage to Rick defines me, but I definitely think having gone thru everything shaped who I am now.
I'm sure it would be a different story if I was already remarried and had a family, but I'm not. I think this time of year just makes me reflective and I think about what could have been. I could have a kid or two by now in elementary school. I also could be a single mom raising those kids alone. And the life I have now, isn't shitty at all. I have a great job, great friends, I've been given great opportunities all of which wouldn't have happened if I wasn't on this path. I most definitely wouldn't be living in Minnesota.
For some reason this is my path. My past is what I have to work with. My future is bright ahead of me. I know that. I understand that. I still feel like shit. I know it will pass. I just wonder when I'll get thru a July with out this feeling.
FUCK.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
White Castle Chicken Rings
So I'm watching TV and I just saw a commerical (a rarity since I have Tivo)and OMG, White Castle has a new product. Chicken Rings. These are so new they aren't on the website, but they look like donuts. Who needs chicken that looks like a donut? Seriously!!!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Open Letter to Felicia
Oh the Boundary Waters. Nature at it's best... lakes, wildlife, peace and quiet. Unless of course you are traveling with Felicia.
I spent the last 4 days in the boundary waters with my friend and her two cousins. One cousin, very nice and would like to get to know her better. The other is FELICIA.
First let me tell you that my friend WARNED me about Felica. I warn people about my family all the time but am always told that I make them out to be far worse then they actually are. This is what I had in mind after the warnings I got. Oh she can't be as bad as all that. OMFG! She's WORSE!
Felicia thinks the world revolves around her. Every single conversation has to be about her or directed at her. Felicia, the world does not revolve around you. You arne't skinny and your outfits are not cute. I don't care how many people you tell me told you so.
Felicia, you are supposed to take your medicine for a reason. Do the world a favor, go back on your meds and find a good, nay, great therapist! We will all thank you.
I spent the last 4 days in the boundary waters with my friend and her two cousins. One cousin, very nice and would like to get to know her better. The other is FELICIA.
First let me tell you that my friend WARNED me about Felica. I warn people about my family all the time but am always told that I make them out to be far worse then they actually are. This is what I had in mind after the warnings I got. Oh she can't be as bad as all that. OMFG! She's WORSE!
Felicia thinks the world revolves around her. Every single conversation has to be about her or directed at her. Felicia, the world does not revolve around you. You arne't skinny and your outfits are not cute. I don't care how many people you tell me told you so.
Felicia, you are supposed to take your medicine for a reason. Do the world a favor, go back on your meds and find a good, nay, great therapist! We will all thank you.
